Someone Else's
by Divergent 338
Summary: Jack's thoughts throughout his relationship with Kensi. Includes Afghanistan.


**This one shot was written out pure need to satisfy my curiosity about what Jack thought when he saw Deeks hugging Kensi in Spoils Of War. I ended really liking it and it kind of wrote itself. Special thanks to Bookdiva for looking it over for me and fixing my mistakes. This is short as most of my one shots are, and doesn't have any dialogue, but dialogue wouldn't really have fit the mood I was trying to convey with this.**

**On a side note I'm working on chapter 6 of Blind Date, that will probably be the last one. After I finish and publish that, I will be focusing on Questionable Acts for awhile before starting anymore multiple chapter stories. However I love my one shots and fully intend to continue writing those.**

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><p>When I first met Kensi Marie Blye she was everything I'd ever wanted: bold, beautiful, sweet, and passionate. Full of life and a happiness that filled me with joy knowing I'd caused it. There was something else about her too, a fire that I'd never seen before, a fire that lived within her, a fire that I was only lucky enough to see a few times.<p>

Our love was sweet and tender, like first love should be. Her strength and bravery surprising me every time I saw it.

The only time I ever really saw Kensi Marie Blye cry was when I was sent away, she kissed me goodbye at the front door, told me she would love and wait for me forever. That she would be right there when I returned. When I walked away she blew me a kiss and watched the car from our front step until I was out of her sight.

Throughout my tour, when I was falling apart, a picture of her laughing that ridiculous laugh of hers was the only thing that kept even some tendrils of me together. Figuring that everything would be fine if I just got home to her, I managed to stay strong.

Upon my return I realized what a joke the idea of me keeping it together was. I hurt her every day, every day I saw her watching me with those big eyes, full of sadness and unspilled tears and every day I ignored it, for my sake, to protect myself from anymore pain.

Then that Christmas morning when I woke up at the first light of dawn, ripped from sleep by another nightmare, I could see her, still asleep. When I reached out to touch her cheek, she moaned and rolled away from me, resisting my touch.

So that same morning I left. I left with nothing but the clothes on my back. I never stopped loving her, but I never looked back.

I rolled around the country for years, working odd jobs, and even spending time on the street. When I was eventually snatched up by the CIA I agreed to work from the middle east without any questions.

There I met another woman. She didn't have Kensi's fire, but we loved each other deeply. Together we had and began to rise a beautiful little girl. Then one day an IED tore them away from me, and suddenly I was a hunted man. Pursued because of my refusal to leave Afghanistan, because of the deadly secrets I knew.

When I first saw her in that cave after I was grabbed by the Taliban my entire world stopped, and Kensi Marie Blye entered into it again. She was just there, confronting me, comforting me though she was the one getting hurt more then I was, she took care of me, again.

It was almost as if she was mine again, but I knew she wasn't. I knew she wasn't when the name she cried out for when they beat her wasn't mine. I knew she wasn't when I heard her whispers of his name as she dreamed, the only time in that cave when I saw her smile.

I knew who she belonged to when I saw his face as he lead the cleric towards us. From the moment she saw him, while still in my arms she saw only him.

I spoke to him briefly with the girl at my arm, tried my best to not be envious of way I could feel her gaze watching us, watching him.

As I lead the girl to the water cooler, I could see them together from the corner of my eye, how she stepped so willing into his embrace as if there was no other place in the world she'd rather have been. How he cradled her in his arms, holding her together like I never could.

It is at that moment I know. We loved each other, but that time is past. Her heart belongs to another, and nothing I do could make it mine again. What was once mine is somebody else's.

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><p><strong>Well, there ya have it! Hope you liked it, and if you were wondering about Jack too it satisfied you you some. FYI reviews? Yeah they're awesome, so if ya could, I don't know, leave one or two that would be amazing and make my day.<strong>

**I love writing one shots, so you have an idea or two that you would like to see me write, leave it for me and I'll see what I can do.**


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